Dina Lohan

Dina Lohan, beacon of truth and lucidity, is proclaiming innocence once again. The Orange Oprah is pleading not guilty to her DUI, because it clearly wasn't her fault. You know, just like Lindsay Lohan's troubled upbringing wasn't her fault, either.

While Lindsay Lohan is on the straight and narrow following her stint in rehab, her mother, Dina Lohan, isn't doing quite so well, getting arrested last night (Sept. 12) for drunk driving. And assuming they didn't switch bodies, no 'Freaky Friday' shenanigans were involved.

You know what's a good way to get kicked out your kid's therapy sessions when they're in rehab for alcohol and drug addiction? Calling in drunk. That's what Dina Lohan did when she phoned Lindsay Lohan in treatment, and it worked out great!

Lindsay Lohan and Oprah Winfrey will be working together soon -- on both a post-rehab interview and docuseries -- and Dina Lohan couldn't be happier because really, this is all about her. Since the news broke, Dina has gushed that Oprah will be LiLo's new mentor. Which, family trees being what they are, makes Dina Lohan Oprah's grand-mentor. Or something.

It's difficult to tally all the accounts floating about of Dina Lohan not paying for things, so what difference does one more make?

The Betty Ford Clinic, where Lindsay Lohan is undergoing her 90-day court-mandated rehab, wants to bring Michael and Dina Lohan together for a good ol' fashioned family trainwreck bonding session.

Dina Lohan showed up to a charity art auction event Tuesday night, March 12, because apparently no one told her that paintings aren't made of gin.

Dina Lohan is nothing if not a dreamer. The Orange Oprah and far-too-proud mom of Lindsay Lohan inexplicably sat down for an interview with 'Extra,' where she discussed her upcoming book (oh, great) and her hopes for her daughter (we all ran out of those after 'Liz & Dick').

Dina Lohan had a truly happy hour at the Grove this week, and cameras caught the proud, possibly drunk mom of Lindsay shopping and offering unsolicited childcare services to strangers.

We've heard it time and time again that due to her tax problems and attorney fees, Lindsay Lohan is broke as a bad joke. And it seems to be true, because she's living with her mother Dina But since they're both allegedly staying at a suite in the Hills of Beverly right now, we honestly don't know what's going on anymore.

Maybe Lindsay Lohan wasn't in a drunken stupor after all. After the brawl LiLo had with her mom Dina Lohan the other night that required a visit from her besties over at 911, the truth about mama Lohan's financial woes -- which may have triggered the brouhaha -- is finally coming to light.

It's been a couple weeks since Lindsay Lohan had a face-to-face with the boys in blue, so hey, maybe she's turning over a new le--oh wait. Reset your timers, because early Wednesday morning, the wayward actress had a brawl with her mother that resulted in a 911 call. (Seriously, TLC, how does this family not have a reality show?)

Dina Lohan, who spawned daughter Lindsay and has been living off the reflected glory ever since, will appear on 'Dr. Phil' on Monday, Sept. 17, and the sneak-peek is glorious (and by "glorious" we mean "a disaster of epic proportions").