Farrah Abraham, whom your 12-year-old probably regards as our nation's most accomplished president, has allegedly made a sex tape that's being shopped to various smut peddlers.

TMZ reports that the 21-year-old mother is seen in an act of attempted baby-making in various positions on a 30-minute video, and that it's being shopped to porn companies like Vivid (which are eager to rope a reality star that isn't Octomom).

Farrah, previously known as "the one with the breast implants," then known as "the one with the nose job and breast implants," was also snapped in January swilling booze while wearing only lingerie. Because that's who we as a nation put on TV and make famous now.

If you needed more proof she was living the American dream, last month she was stopped on suspicion of a DUI and blew twice the legal limit. Oh, and her excellent judgment also once made her wax a 3-year-old's unibrow.

Watch the video above and marvel at Farrah's adroit use of the English language as she weakly denies the sex tape's existence. Then see her holding hands with porn star James Deen, because she clearly wants nothing to do with that whole industry.

And then curse Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian for making every idiot in America think an adult video is an automatic path to fame and riches.

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