Michael Lohan, determined to make a mark on this world other than a stain, is now making a mark in the literary realm as well.

The estranged father of Lindsay Lohan is, like ex-wife and Orange Oprah Dina Lohan, penning a book about his daughter. Because, you know, he loves her a lot.

TMZ reports that Michael's inspiration is not only his own life (specifically surviving a car wreck), but also the idea of getting revenge on Dina, who is writing her own book on living with Michael and having a child star-turned-failure-turned escort as a daughter.

Dina's tome is titled ‘A Parent Trapped’ and chronicles the alleged domestic abuse she suffered at Michael's hands (and, you know, sells out her daughter).

Michael, however, was a bit wordier when naming his book: 'I'm Not Your 'Daddy Dearest' ... If I Can Turn My Life Around, Lindsay Can Turn Hers.'

The book will reportedly focus on Michael's transformation, as he put it, into a "Bible-quoting minister, drug interventionist, and successful business man."

Or, as the rest of us would put it, Michael's transformation from abusive douchebag to Bible-toting douchebag who needs more cash to feed his latest illegitimate child.

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