Before finally going away for her 90 days in court-mandated rehab, Lindsay Lohan decided to talk about rehab, drugs and alcohol (the LiLo trifecta) with London newspaper the Daily Mail, because maybe she thought the Brits would be nicer to her.

The article is definitely a TL;DR type of situation -- so we read it for you and compiled the best quotes about the rehab sitch. Don't say we never did anything for you.

In the interview with Piers Morgan, LiLo talks about how she rarely drinks, has only done cocaine a handful of times, and that rehab is pointless because she should be spending her time doing useful things -- perhaps, as she said, "going abroad to different countries [to] work with children" instead.

Last time she went abroad, she wound up under a table at a nightclub. (Maybe that's just where Brazilians keep the kids.)

But back to this whole rehab silliness. As she explained to Morgan, "I could write the book on rehab. Constantly sending me to rehab is pointless. The first few times I was court-ordered to rehab, it was like a joke, like killing time."

After all, it's not like she has a problem -- she was only in rehab the first time because working on her film-flop 'I Know Who Killed Me' was really stressful.

"I was having really bad nightmares, and the movie was pretty traumatizing," she admitted of the 2007 experience. "So I stayed in a facility so I could get some sleep and talk about it with someone the next day, because it was overwhelming. But I would leave every day and just sleep there at night."

That same year, she was convicted of two DUIs, arrested on cocaine possession, went to rehab three times and spent a couple hours in jail. For some reason, that was enough for the media to smell blood in the water.

"And from then on, the press were on me all the time," Lohan said. "It was the first time I'd taken drugs. I was out in a club with people I shouldn't have been with, and took cocaine, and got in the car. It was so stupid."

Lindsay told Morgan that in the past year she's only smoked pot once, prompting the journalist to ask her why she would need rehab in the first place.

"This is where it gets hard for me to explain," La Lohan explained. "I don't think there's anything wrong with people taking time to just be by themselves. I think people want to see me do that. They will keep saying the same things about me if I don't. I don't think it will be a bad thing for me to be away with myself for three months."

For more -- including her thoughts on bi-sexual relationships, her drugs of choice, her family and who in Hollywood has been nicest to her -- check out the rest of the interview.