We may not have dodged that pesky Mayan apocalypse after all -- because Kris Jenner has her very own talk show premiering on July 15, and a whole slew of promotions to go with it.

Among them? She wants to take a hostage make someone a Kardashian for a day.

The fabulous prizes include travel accommodations to Los Angeles for you and a guest, $5,000 in "seed money" to support an "entrepreneurial project" of your choice, a chance to be on 'Kris,' lunch with Kris or Bruce Jenner for "parenting advice," mani-pedis with Kris and a $1,000 shopping spree at the Kardashians' DASH boutique.

That all sounds terrifying. But hey, free trip to L.A.!

To enter, applicants must submit a one-minute video (which already seems like too much work) explaining why they want to spend a day in the Kardashian-Jenner family, an "entrepreneurial" project you are currently pursuing or planning, and how you have recently expressed love to your family.

They also insist that you start your video by saying "Kris! (or Mom!) as you simultaneously roll your eyes to the camera." No, seriously.

So ours would go a little something like this:


Liz Lemon Eye Roll GIF


We'd like to join the Kardashian-Jenner family because money for nothing sounds sa-WEET. We're so down. In fact, if you adopt us permanently, we'll even let you have the catchphrase, "Everything's coming up Kardashian!" (That's our entrepreneurial project. We worked on that all day.)

Also, we've dated lots of tools, so we'll fit right in with the rest of your daughters. Except maybe Khloe, because Lamar seems kind of cool.

[ insert interpretive dance about being a Kardashian here to take up the remaining time ]

Hugs and Kisses,
The StarCrush Crew

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