Last week, a sex tape featuring Hulk Hogan made its way onto the internet and caused irreparable harm to millions because DUDE MY EYES MY EYES.

Now the Hulkster's lawyer says plans are in the works to sue everyone ever, and that the wrestler himself feels leaking the secretly-recorded tryst was the "ultimate betrayal."

The racy footage was captured six years ago and shows Hogan and Heather Clem, the wife of Hulk's then-BFF Bubba the Love Sponge, gettin' jiggy wit it, apparently with Bubba's full knowledge and approval. The camera that caught the action is placed high in a bedroom, and it's pretty obvious that Hogan wasn't aware of its presence.

As recently as Tuesday morning, Hulk was on the Howard Stern show vowing to find out who leaked the tape, indicating he didn't think Bubba had anything to do with it and saying the two were still good friends. He also explained the sexytime with his best friend's wife using a rather odd metaphor involving dirty clothes.

“Let’s say I’ve been doing laundry, brother, for this person forever, and all of a sudden this person hates the way I do laundry," he told Stern, clearly referring to his ex-wife. "And that person says, ‘You suck. I hate you ... I hate the way you do laundry.'"

“But my buddy, you know, him and his girl say, ‘Hey, you can do our laundry any time you want!’," he continued. “Finally after the person I was doing laundry with for millions and millions of years left, and all of a sudden there was nobody there to do laundry, I was depressed ... I go to my buddy’s house and he says, ‘Hey man you can do this other person’s laundry that I’m partners with.’ I said, 'Sure.’”

Later on Tuesday, TMZ reported it had seen the whole tape -- bit and pieces of which have been flying around the internet -- and that after Hogan left the house, Bubba can be heard saying to his wife, "If we ever did want to retire, all we'd have to do is use this footage."

She replies, "You'd never do that," and Bubba reverses course and says he wouldn't, saying only "the biggest rat" would.

After TMZ published those details, Hogan called in to 'TMZ Live' and said he was "sick to his stomach" and warned Bubba, "If you had anything to do with this, that means we were never friends."

In the meantime, he's keeping his lawyer busy. Attorney David Houston has already contacted police about a possible criminal investigation, and a lawsuit is planned against (which posted an edited version of the tape last week) that will include charges of invasion of privacy, damage to reputation and damage to commercial viability.

Sex tapes and laundry and lawsuits, oh my.

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