Petition Says Donald Trump Is the One Household Tool Macy’s Shouldn’t Sell

Badly-coiffed blowhard Donald Trump has been dialing up the douchebaggery lately. So much so that the public is now demanding beloved retailer Macy’s end its affiliation with him and take those Trumptastic TV commercials off the air.

So in that most traditional and passive-aggressive American way, an online petition is making the rounds. But will Macy’s comply?

Because of the movie ‘Miracle on 34th Street,’ we’ve come to believe that Macy’s is the kind of store that will put customer service above profit. Can’t find what you need at Macy’s? We’ll send you to a place where we know they have it.

It’s a store with such a good reputation that the retailer is actually friends with Santa Claus -- but it looks like Macy’s is going to end up on the naughty list this year. And it’s all the Donald’s fault.

The mockable magnate has sent the public so far over the edge with his pouty face, cocky attitude and ridiculous campaign ultimatums that one man decided enough was enough. He created a SignOn petition to “urge Macy’s to dump Donald Trump.” And, in a little more than one day, 470,000 people signed on.

Citing Macy’s own policy about social responsibility ...

There is no shortage of talk about the obligation of public companies to be socially responsible to the people and communities where they do business. At Macy’s Inc., we hold those same beliefs – along with a belief that actions speak louder than words when it comes to helping tackle some of the toughest problems facing us today.

... the petition seems to infer that the Trumpster himself is one of the toughest problems facing us today with his sexism, hypocritical nature, denial of climate change and racially motivated perpetuation of the birther conspiracy, among other non-hair-related infractions.

According to the internet, it’s time for Macy’s to let its actions be louder than its words and dump Trump once and for all. And lest you think the internet as a whole is an unforgiving lynch mob, think again -- another Macy's mogul spokesperson, Martha Stewart, has been to jail, and no one's calling for her ouster.