After bailing on an interview with 'The Today Show' this morning, Paula Deen has issued a public apology for routinely using the n-word back in 1986 and for assuming that being racist is cool if you're old and Southern.

As a whole, the apology itself is awkward and stilted, as if she had no time to rehearse and is merely reading off some pre-prepared cards rather than speaking from the heart. To make matters worse, the camera cuts to a different take after every single sentence.

She also doesn't apologize for anything in particular, merely saying she's sorry for "mistakes I've made." Then she proceeds to beg for forgiveness from everyone and their mother in the short, 45-second video message.

Honestly, she could have been apologizing for anything.

Sources for TMZ say the statement was created by a team of lawyers, publicists and managers who wouldn't know an apology if it punched them in the face while yelling racial slurs.

Worst of all? No one stood even a chance of winning Paula Deen apology bingo.

UPDATE: A second video has now been released.

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