After spending way too much time with her bachelors from hell, ‘Bachelorette’ Desiree Hartsock is begging to go home. She’s been humiliated, betrayed and driven to tears, but really it was the constant smell of sulfur wafting from the hellboys that made her ready to quit.
She also felt the producers could have picked participants with actual names instead of the usual lineup of The Fame Whore, The Liar and The Player. Really, how could she not see those guys coming a mile away?
We were going to ask him out for a cocktail, but then Johnny Depp said, “I got sober for my kids.” Of course, if we did ask him out for a cocktail and he turned us down, that would totally be the reason we'd tell our friends. Also, we probably wouldn’t let him wear his pirate/Native American makeup, so he wouldn’t want to come anyway.
Oh who are we kidding. We’d let Johnny Depp wear whatever he wanted if only he'd get drunk with us. But he won’t. Because of his kids.
Meanwhile, the lovely and knocked up Kate Middleton is nearing the end of her baby countdown with her early delivery plan. Seems the House of Windsor is very forthcoming with all personal details of icky medical procedures that we wouldn’t even want to discuss with our own mothers, let alone with beautiful women whose pristine image we don’t want crashing down in visions of painfully overstretched nether regions.
See? We just did it. Sometimes there is such a thing as too much information when it comes to celebrities.
It’s a little too soon for baby talk – although that seems to be all the rage at this point – but Henry Cavill and Kaley Cuoco are Hollywood’s sexy new couple. Superman and Queen of the Nerds. This is a match made in celebrity couple heaven.
Watch out, though, ‘Man of Steel’ star, Kaley’s like the little sis we all wished we had, and if you upset her, even just a little bit, we will come to L.A. and pretend we could take you. (Admittedly we would lose our nerve and just leave a frowny-face note on whatever awesome car you drive, but still, WATCH IT, BUSTER.)