In an attempt to draw attention from that media whore of a hurricane, the Kardashian household is once again awash with drama. This time it involves child protective services and the two youngest  -- and least attended to -- children of Kris Jenner.

Late last week, an anonymous person called the L.A. County Department of Children and Family Services and reported that daughters Kylie and Kendall Jenner, who are 15 and 16 respectively, were being abused and were thus in danger.

Social workers and police went to the kompound and soon discounted the kaller’s klaims. Because, of course, the worst abuse the girls experience is being part of this absurd family.

The Kardashian-Jenners call the accusations “ridiculous,” with a source saying, “Kylie wasn’t even in the country the day the caller claimed she was in danger. She was in the Philippines.”

Always diligent in keeping her family’s good name in the clear, Kris Jenner has hired a private investigator to track down this evil mystery caller who wreaked such havoc in their lives. One rep said, “It’s such a shame that anyone can make up such hurtful and hideous untruths, especially when children are involved.”

We'll pause so you can snort.

Jenner is convinced that the tipster was a tabloid reporter trying to create drama for fun, and the family rep added, “We are taking this matter very seriously and investigating to find out who is responsible for fabricating such a terrible story and will take the necessary legal action so that this does not happen again.”

Bluster aside, konspiracy theorists are putting their money on the caller being a Kardashian staffer trying to drum up storylines and draw media attention back to the family since Hurricane Sandy has been dominating headlines.

And if that sounds like a stretch in logic, let's just remember that Kris used the somber event of 9/11 to talk about her rack.

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