David Beckham Retiring From Soccer, Will Hopefully Be Shirtless More Often
From playing. Not from being the fire of lady loins.
The soccer star (or football star, depending on which side of the pond you're on) will hang up his cleats at the end of the season, which means he only has about two games left.
In a statement, the 38-year-old Beckham announced he's "thankful to [the Paris Saint-Germain team] for [offering] me the opportunity to continue but I feel now is the right time to finish my career, playing at the highest level."
"If you had told me as a young boy I would have played for and won trophies with my boyhood club Manchester United, proudly captained and played for my country over one hundred times and lined up for some of the biggest clubs in the world, I would have told you it was a fantasy. I'm fortunate to have realized those dreams."
He continued, "To this day, one of my proudest achievements is captaining my country ... I'm honored to represent England both on and off the pitch ... I want to thank all my teammates, the great managers that I had the pleasure of learning from. I also want to thank the fans who have all supported me and given me the strength to succeed."
Beckham has played 115 games for England's team, which is a record outmatched by no player other than a goalkeeper.
As for his post-sports career, it's believed he'll now return to London to live in fashionable bliss with wife Victoria and their four gorgeous children. He's supposedly worth more than $250 million, so he might invest in a soccer club himself or expand soccer opportunities for kids.
Whatever he does, we just hope it involves a whole lot of standing around in his underwear.