Stephen Colbert, who of course spoofs a wingnut conservative on his show 'The Colbert Report,' was shocked and disheartened to learn that FOX's Bill O'Reilly doesn't really give a hoot about gay marriage one way or the other.

Which is pretty shocking considering Bill O'Reilly has spent his whole career hooting about something.

The anchor/host of 'The O'Reilly Factor,' who thinks God makes the tides work (because God is the moon?), surprised everyone when he responded to California's Prop 8 battle by saying, “The compelling argument is on the side of homosexuals.”

“The gay marriage thing? I don't feel that strongly about it one way or another,” he continued, causing Colbert to get positively flustered. Because for once, Bill O'Reilly doesn't care about something.

Wait. What? But … but Bill has an opinion on everything. Especially gay marriage, which in both 2005 and 2009 he compared to getting married to animals. (Allowing the gays to get hitched means turtle marriage is just around the corner, you guys.)

Watch Stephen struggle with this newfound information and eventually plan O'Reilly's nuptials to a goat. And don't worry, it'll all make hilarious, twisted sense in the end.

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