John Travolta

After paying boatloads of cash to a male masseuse on whom he may or may not have let his fingers do the walking, John Travolta apparently decided his next best move would be to promote Brazilian booze by ambiguously dancing with shirtless men. Alrighty. Also not helping matters? His refusal to shave whatever that thing is off his face. (That's a decision worse than 'Battlefield Earth.')

Someone thought it would be a good idea to give Kirstie Alley yet another show -- super-creatively named 'Kirstie' -- but hey, at least it'll feature John Travolta as a guest star. Let's just hope this reunion is better than the one he did with Olivia Newton-John. (The horror. The holiday horror.)

Seems John Travolta can't get enough early summer lovin,' because the actor made a surprise appearance at a Georgia couple's wedding after a chance meeting with the duo the night before.

John Travolta is having a hard time escaping the sexual assault accusations that have plagued him in recent years. Now, recently uncovered documents show that the damage is more than anyone but maybe Tom Cruise could have guessed.

You'd think John Travolta would stay miles away from euphemisms like this. What he should have said was, "Don't judge someone until you've walked a mile in their cha-cha heels."

John Travolta found himself in drag to play Edna Turnblad in the movie turned musical turned movie-musical 'Hairspray.'

John Travolta needs a remote crib to house his vast collection of airplanes and hide any dalliances he may have with massage parlor employees. Ahem.

John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John, that dynamic duo from 'Grease,' have joined forces to assault your ears and ruin all your Christmas cheer with their holiday themed song, 'I Think You Might Like It.' Spoiler alert: We didn't.

Just when he thought it was safe to stay in the closet, John Travolta is being sued by a supposed former gay lover for not being allowed to tattle to the media about their love affair. Sorry, alleged love affair.

Thanks to the mystical alien powers of Scientology, John Travolta can now heal the sick, raise the dead and fly. Or at least “cure” injured people of debilitating pain thanks to a special super secret technique called “an assist.” Yeah, we know. Just smile and nod. It's safest that way.