Be still our beating hearts -- what we wouldn't give to get our drink on with 'The Daily Show' host Jon Stewart.

No seriously, we'd give a whole lot. A kidney. Our first born. Our loud neighbor's left and right testicle.

Whether he's hatching evil plans to make Brian Williams uncomfortable, or smearing on ChapStick like an "aging French whore," we have a feeling it's not hard for Jon Stewart to become the life of any party.

Seriously, look at this man play the saxophone the completely wrong way alongside New Jersey's boss-man Bruce Springsteen. (We had to cut him out of the photo, so use your imagination.)