At this point, Amanda Bynes' life is like one of those old, wooden roller coasters you don't want to stand up on for fear of being decapitated. She's rapping, she's been groped, she's wig-shopping. In short, she's a super busy girl.

Now the NYPD is trying to make her a life a little simpler by scuttling one of the many lawsuits she's threatening to file -- because according to them, she wasn't sexually assaulted as she initially claimed.

Radar Online reports that the NYPD's investigation turned up nothing to support Amanda's claims than an NYPD officer "slapped [her] vagina."

“Internal Affairs investigators have found no evidence to corroborate Ms. Bynes’ allegations,” said NYPD spokesman Paul Browne. “To the contrary, a credible civilian witness who was with the officers throughout told investigators that no one touched Ms. Bynes inappropriately or otherwise engaged in misconduct at any time.”

Amanda is maintaining several things. First, that she was wrongfully arrested. Second, that she is allergic to both drugs and alcohol. Third, that she has never owned a bong -- she says the item she threw out the window upon the sight of police was, in fact, a vase.

We know it's all very confusing. But if you're wondering whether to believe Amanda Bynes or the NYPD, Manders has some advice: