If Amanda Bynes is anything, it's consistent. So last night, she took to Twitter to attack Complex Magazine for quoting Kid Cudi, whom she claims she once dated. Okay.

The missive was posted on Twitpl.us to avoid Twitter's 140 character limit, and we've decided to break it into more manageable chunks to translate for you. It opens like this:

@ComplexMag Stop acting like I'm doing something wrong. I'm obsessed with myself on twitter. Also, my video last night was perfection.

So, Amanda Bynes has done nothing wrong. Loving yourself is normally a good thing. Unless you're acting unhinged - then it's bad. As for the video bit, that refers to Amanda's recent self-shot video of her doing Blue Steel into her bathroom mirror while listening to techno.


I'm so sick of the articles u write about me. I want every fake article deleted.

We're not sure how Amanda determines a fake article from a genuine article, but this is an important epistemological question. She may be the new Descartes. She goes on:


Ur d-ck whipped by my ugly ex @ducidni who's looks and talent have always been questionable to me, him being the ugly duckling that he is and all. U quote him non stop, then take professional shots of him for ur covers, his best photos aren't shit compared to mine at my best.

Here we have the first mention of rapper Kid Cudi, who will probably still be face-palming next week wondering how he got dragged into this mess. Amanda, unprovoked, calls him ugly and then says that her Twitter photos are far better than the ones  the magazine took of him.

For the record: Here are her amazing Twitter selfies.

She continues:

The photo u chose of Aubrey for her cover is awful. You make people look bad, stop acting like you know anything about what men like. I don't stop getting follwed or hit on every place I go.

The former part refers to Complex's current cover story on Aubrey Plaza (of Will Ferrell award-snatching infamy). The latter may refer to Complex's implying that Bynes had a thing for Cudi (by referencing her own tweets).

Finally, Bynes drops the bomb: She may be cutting an album.

I'm not trying to sing, but if I did (I got offered an Interscope record deal right after I filmed Hairspray which you might know if you sat down and did a normal interview. I still might take them up on their offer) get the facts as opposed to talking s--t. My music is going to be sicker then whatever the f--k kind of music Scott tries to do. Stop writing articles without speaking to me first.

Take a minute to imagine the music videos that may accompany singles from an Amanda Bynes album. She's a walking performance art piece, and we've already seen her in action with a video camera. Could be utter genius.

And hey, who knows? They may actually be the thing to make the North Koreans stand down.