Scottish actor Alan Cumming is in the midst of performing his one-man version of 'Macbeth' on Broadway (in a fun psychological way, not in a "campy in drag" sort of way) -- and to celebrate being in the States, he went to the offices of Vulture.com and read literally anything they put in front of him.

And hilarity ensued.

Watch as he reads things like lines from James Franco's character in 'Spring Breakers,' rap lyrics, tweets from Ryan Lochte, and the titles of films starring porn star James Deen. All of which he is seeing for the first time! It's truly magical to behold.

You can check out the hijinks on the video above -- but do be warned it's super not safe for work unless you happen to have a pair of headphones handy.

Then once you're done, we highly recommend re-enacting his dance from 'Romy and Michele's High School Reunion.' Just for funzies.

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