Monday night's episode of 'The Bachelor' proved that while Sean may be quite the catch, he's also quite the jerk.

Unlike past weeks, the episode opened with Sean parading around topless, cleaning up and looking for clothes. We assume he had just finished working out because we needed to see he is still lookin' good.

Date #1

Selma and Sean were whisked away in a limousine to an airport where they hopped on a private jet. Selma said, “This definitely exceeds my expectations.” What?! He took her on a plane, but didn’t tell her where they were going. That’s borderline kidnapping. If the cameras weren’t there and it was a normal first date, she’d think he was a psycho.

Sean and Selma landed in the desert and drove to Joshua Tree National Park. We learned Selma is not really a nature kind of girl, but Sean said he wanted to take her out of her element. Real nice, Sean. You know, when I dated, I was always of the belief that if you want to impress a woman you do something they enjoy. If a woman liked French food, I didn’t take her for curry to see how she’d respond.

The couple went rock climbing and Selma led the way. Selma said she hates heights, so what better way to endear him to her, right? Well, yes, actually, because this is a reality show. She claimed, “He gave me the courage.” (‘Bachelor’ rule 36: The bachelor gets credit for helping one of the women overcome some sort of fear, even though he really had nothing to do with it.)

Rock Climbing

Date #1 – Part 2

‘Bachelor’ rule 107: There’s always a second part to each date.

They drove to dinner in some sort of RV park. Sean explained why he’s still single and Selma divulged a little about her background. It turns out Selma’s Arabic and comes from a conservative family. He wanted to kiss her and she felt the same, but because her family is so conservative she wouldn’t allow it.

So, let’s get this straight: Selma wouldn’t kiss Sean because it would upset her mother, yet she had no qualms about probably infuriating her by appearing on the show in the first place. Makes total sense.

Sean gave the rose to Selma, claiming he’s crazy about her and that she has everything he’s looking for (‘Bachelor’ rule 64: That’s the lazy phrase the man must use to describe a woman who is still in the running). Selma was on top of the world and said, “My fairy tale is just beginning.”


Date #2

A limousine (naturally) took Lindsay, Robyn, Jackie, Catherine, Amanda, AshLee, Sarah and Tierra to a warehouse where Sean was waiting for them. Yet another reason Sean is a jerk. What guy summons not one, but multiple, dates to a warehouse? Yeah, really romantic. When a guy does that, it usually ends with the woman's family asking for help in locating her.

The Bachelor

It turned out the ladies would be competing in roller derby. And the “Sean is a jerk” motif kicked into high gear here. Sarah cried because it was hard for her to be in that environment, what with the one arm and all. So, Sean made a one-armed woman compete in roller derby! He took her aside and encouraged her to try.

The Bachelor

Amanda had her own issues. After lying by saying she had done roller derby before to get the other girls to fear her, she fell down and bumped her chin. A medic came in and told her to go to the hospital.

Sean, being the class act he is, decided to let her go on her own and remain at the warehouse where he could continue playing lothario. But, sensing the mood had shifted, he told the girls there would be no game, just a free skate, like a Saturday night at the roller rink in the ‘70s.

Date #2 – Part 2

Sean and the women headed to a lounge. Tierra was upset with the other women and wanted to leave (‘Bachelor’ rule 1: There must be a villain). She had a meltdown and said she was being tortured. She hunted down Sean, who tried to calm her down by saying he’s been through this experience before. Then, he shocked the girls by giving Tierra the rose.


Like this is the first time a man had been manipulated by a woman. Even yours truly has to claim he’s part of that club.

Date #3

If there was any doubt that Sean is as as smooth as acne, this date erased any doubt.

He took out Leslie H., who had been presented with diamond earrings before the date. Even SHE asked, "Who gets that before a date?" Exactly, Leslie – who? Sean picked her up in a flashy sports car and they headed to Rodeo Drive where he took her on a shopping spree. (Excuse me – where ABC took her on a shopping spree, since there’s no way in hell he footed the bill.)

Leslie compared the date to ‘Pretty Woman,’ which means Sean thought of her as a whore. Nice!

He watched her try on clothing, which she found fun and he appeared interested in witnessing. Seriously, if he was that captivated by watching a woman try on clothing then you have to wonder if he even likes girls. I mean, I can’t even go food shopping with my wife without getting bored.


Sean then took Leslie to famed jeweler Neil Lane where the actual Neil Lane was waiting for them (of course). She tried on a 120-carat diamond necklace. Romantic? Perhaps, although the 35 kids who died in Sierra Leone getting that diamond may disagree.

Leslie said, “I see my future husband.” It seems the glare from the necklace obscured her view because the rest of the evening wound up going downhill from there.

Date #3 – Part 2

Sean and Leslie went to dinner, but Sean said he simply couldn’t feel the romantic vibe, even though he really wanted to. While holding the rose – and in the middle of dinner – he said the connection is missing and he can’t keep her around.

Leslie H.

Wow, he dumped her in the middle of dinner. That’s a new low, isn’t it? At least she got to keep her clothes and jewelry. Well, all but the Neil Lane necklace. That was just a loaner. So, she's not quite like 'Pretty Woman.'

Cocktail Party

As is the standard, all the women rose when Sean walked into the room. Someone really should’ve kicked him for the way he acted this week, though.

Robyn and Sean kissed; Sean and Catherine (‘Bachelor’ rule 139: There’s always some woman on the show you didn’t even realize was competing) kissed. Then, ABC continued to jam the fact that Tierra is the villain down our throats.


She apologized to Robyn and Jackie (see rule 139) about what happened on the group date and they were all fake in talking to her, but no one bought her act. Tierra then stole some time with Sean and said she’s not a drama queen, but is actually grounded and other women generally have trouble accepting her. Mmmhm.

Rose Ceremony

Before he handed out the roses, Sean followed ‘Bachelor’ rule 9 when he announced to the women, “I had no idea I would feel this way so quickly.” Hey, Sean -- it’s the 17th season of this dreck. You should know by now that “feelings” develop faster than the clap.

In the end, Amanda didn’t get a rose. So the poor girl went to the hospital and wasn’t accompanied by her date and then he cut her loose. Yep, whoever lands him will be a really lucky girl! In her defense, it did take some time for her voice to start quivering, so she may have something resembling a firm grasp on reality by realizing their relationship wasn't strong.

It’s now down to 11 women. Next week, we’ll get double the ‘Bachelor’ trouble with two episodes, one on Monday and one on Tuesday. Get ready, America.

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