YOU: I know most of your synapses probably don’t fire anymore after the mass quantities of drugs you’ve shot, snorted and dropped, but I still think we could make beautiful music together.

ME: You could steer a ship through the opening my mouth makes and I have more lines in my face than a topographical map of the Rockies, but for some reason I am still completely irresistible to women. Especially those of the honky-tonk variety.

Let's get together and spend 50 years shaking our skinny asses on stage for throngs of screaming girls. And their mothers. And their grandmothers.

More From StarCrush