YOU: Okay, so you're more than a decade older than I am and you have a bit of a temper. So what? We all get irritated with our kids, the paparazzi and FAA rules sometimes. That doesn't change the fact that you're suave, sophisticated, and have a wicked sense of humor.

ME: I've been called "the thinking man's sex symbol," even though the title makes me a little squeamish. I'm smart and funny but fearlessly self-deprecating, which makes me relatable to both men and women in a completely adorkable way.

Let's get together and make a quirky sitcom that will amass a cult following.