Forget that two weeks ago she was ready to leave the show. Forget that last week she was torn between two men. Now, Bachelorette Desiree says, "Yes, I'm engaged." Actually, she must have squeeed it because there's an exclamation point and a $75,000 sparkler of a ring.
And in case we wanted to be at all jealous of the woman who had to pretend to find love on a reality TV show, it got better when we read about the romantic Caribbean proposal and the 3.5-carat diamond. We also read how she decided between her final two, even though "rock/paper/scissors" would've sufficed. It's not like she'll ever marry the guy who won anyway.
And perhaps because In Touch hounded poor Lea, Life & Style was kind enough to leave her alone and instead regale us with cheerful stories from Cory's tragic final days. Which, while slightly more sensitive to the living, was still pretty tasteless. Stay you, tabloids.
Then, after hearing all about their intimate (yet shared with the press) nuptials, we got to snoop through an obviously very private photo album and gawk at Halle Berry's dream wedding. Surprisingly, there wasn't a single picture of Halle yelling at the photographer to get out of her face.
And we were stunned to find out that Leah Remini was tortured by Scientology. It seems like such a peaceful and well-balanced religion. If they're so bad, how come we've never heard about it before?