Chris Brown is having another pity party in JET magazine. This time, he wants the world to feel bad that he has a worse rap for beating Rihanna than Jay-Z has for hustling and maybe stabbing somebody. He's also expecting us to feel bad for him for having to juggle relationships with one of the most stunning and successful women on the planet (RiRi) and a gorgeous model (Karrueche Tran).

Hear that sound? That's the world's tiniest violin.

Of the alleged Hov hypocrisy, Brown gripes (via The YBF), "No disrespect, because I'm a fan, but nobody brings up the fact that [Jay-Z] stabbed somebody and sold drugs. He gets a pass."

Maybe because since then, Jigga has stayed out of trouble. Just saying.

As for his own anger management issues, Brown explains, "You have to go through the struggle before you can get to the good part. I don't try to lash out at people, or be as mad or impulsive as I used to be. I got to the point where it's only so much you can take from the master, you feel me? I've taken my fair share of lashings."

Most slaves aren't millionaires. And as far as we know, most don't go on Twitter rants (though we do sympathize with the constant harassment Brown gets from the likes of this woman).

Brown vented that dating is the hardest thing in the world, because apparently you can have too much of a good thing (and by "too much of a good thing" we mean "too much sex with Rihanna"). "Relationships are the most difficult part. That's why I was honest with those two girls and I put out that video. My ex and I broke up because of the 'situation' and she had moved on," he said.

(For the record, "the situation" isn't a 'Jersey Shore' castmember, but actually "the beating.")

He continues, "I fell in love with another girl. Then my ex came back, so it was like, 'What is a man to do?' I told them both the truth. I didn't do the sucker role."

Of course not. But maybe they did that role for him.

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