Lindsay Lohan is happy that she's not going to jail, but she's still pissed that she has to go to rehab -- not just because she insists she doesn't have a problem, but also because she's going to be there on her birthday, July 2.
She's so mad that she won't even pay her lawyers. Because someone else is doing that for her.
Lindsay Lohan had an incompetent attorney in Mark Heller (though he still managed to get her out of jail free -- well, almost free). If you're wondering why she chose him over her longstanding, perfect-record lawyer Shawn Holley, the answer may be getting clearer: She's in business with Heller's son.
And considering her acting career is apparently toast, she needs whatever paychecks she can get.
There's just one problem: New York, where Lindsay is expected to spend her three months in rehab, has no such thing as lockdown facilities. Which means LiLo could be going to jail after all. (Not that it's likely, but humor us here.)
If you're ever looking for Lindsay Lohan, checking the county jail is always a good place to start. Over the course of just a few years, the one-time promising actress has managed to get in trouble enough times to warrant herself six impressive publicly-released mugshots -- and even more arrests.
We all -- well, those of us who are nearing AARP status or are way into retro -- remember the shiny, happy Belinda Carlisle of the Go-Go's and their ‘We Got the Beat’ genre of layered, fluorescent pop candy. So it might surprise you to hear that B-Carl admits, without irony, that she may have been the Lindsay Lohan of her time.
So where are the pics of her stumbling around and getting into car accidents?
Ohhhh. Wait. It was the '80s. Back when we didn’t have smartphones and celebrities still had a little mystery to them.
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