We Need to Talk About Kim Kardashian’s Maternity Wear [PHOTOS]
First things first. We're not fat-shaming Kim Kardashian. We're fashion-shaming her. There's a big difference, people, so let's keep that straight.
But here's the deal: The reality diva can say what she wants, but the way she dresses her baby bump and the way in which she carries herself as she's expecting her first child with Kanye West make it clear that she loathes being pregnant.
It doesn't have to be this bad. There are several easily-fixed key mistakes she's making with her maternity style.
Her biggest offense is that she keeps trying to stuff her expanding belly into too-tight outfits that she wore when she was that pretty girl who got really famous for making a sex tape. She's clinging to the last vestiges of the hot babe she used to be.
Yes, Kim is still stunningly beautiful, but she's going to be a mother. At this point, she should be dressing for comfort in clothes with some give to the fabric, but she insists on squeezing into things that don't fit and/or tucking shirts and blouses into voluminous skirts.
Additionally, her fabric choices (too much leather) and the proportions (high waists that cover her bump completely and call more attention to her breasts, making her appear top heavy) are all wrong. They have little give and are unforgiving and end up making her look fat instead of just pregnant.
You have to have the baby before you can be a MILF, Kim.
And the heels? At this point, they're dangerous and wobbly. Her feet and ankles are likely swelling because that's what the body does when it's with child, yet she still insists on teetering on stilettos.
Our Rx for the duration of the baby's gestation? Accentuate the bump in appropriate and cute outfits, like maxi dresses in all sorts of cuts and colors, or flowing peasant tops paired with cotton leggings.
Below we've assembled some of Kardashian's worst looks this year, with commentary about why they flopped so badly.
While attending the Topshop event in Los Angeles, she paired leather leggings with an ostrich feathered top in a baby doll cut. It was a strategic move designed to conceal her burgeoning belly while remaining sexy. Both were a fail. She looks like she's wearing the bottom half of a Muppet costume.
She was channeling Old Hollywood glam with her white Donna Karan dress and fur stole. It's clingy, but you'd never know she was pregnant -- she just looks like a plus-sized woman with some serious hips trying to get away with squeezing into a vintage dress. Worse yet, her rack is huge and unsupported.
This architectural white pantsuit buries her belly. Pantsuits with bell bottom legs are tricky to pull off on a non-preggers woman so we question why she went "there."
Here's a case of fashion as a weapon. She's using the high waist of her pink skirt to conceal her belly again and ends up wide and broad. At this stage, she could wear something that shows off her bump since it's not huge yet. But nooooooo, that wouldn't be as sexy.
This ridiculousness employs the skirt's volume as a way to hide the baby bump. Blerg. Her skirt begins where her boobs end and she appears wide again.
This brown leather dress just widens her frame. The caged heels also look silly (and painful) since her feet are puffy.
While this dress has some all-important stretch, it's the cut that's wrong. She's carrying in her hips, so this silhouette isn't forgiving and she ends up with more width.
While going monochromatic in slimming black would normally be the smart choice, a pantsuit? Really? It's a mistake since she's naturally hippy to start with, and just getting more so as her pregnancy progresses. (And, uh, camel toe?)