Dumb Celebrity Quotes

Emotions, they're so confusing. This three-time Tim Burton actress may have had her understanding of cheerfulness messed up by all that Danny Elfman music when she told the press, "I feel my best when I'm happy." You know, unlike the rest of us.

This Academy Award winning actress and singer is a big health food proponent. So much so that she thinks they have magical powers and once said, "I am convinced that by eating biological foods it is possible to avoid a tumor."

There's a reason supermodels aren't usually Mensa members, and that's because they're hired for how nice they look in panties -- not necessary their smarts. This Canadian beauty was once quoted as saying, "I don't diet. I just don't eat as much as I'd like to...

Get out your tiny violins and prepare the dirge. This celebutante leads a pretty charmed life, but if you listen to her side of the story, "Everything bad that can happen to a person has happened to me."

The Germans may love him, but Americans just love to mock him. This performer once made people question his family lineage and his understanding of the English language when he said, "I have taste. It's inbred in me."

Don't hate her because she's beautiful -- hate her because she thinks being beautiful is difficult.

This lead singer couldn't quite grasp the difference between polygamy and monogamy when he told Rolling Stone, "It's really hard to maintain a one-on-one relationship if the other person is not going to allow me to be with other people."

A reporter once asked this big-voiced and newly-bootylicious singer if she was planning to attend the Cannes Film Festival, to which she replied, "I think so ... where is it being held this year?"

One of the world's most famous action stars once tried his hand at the Jedi Mindtrick by saying, "I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman."

This badly-coiffed loudmouth/businessman once ironically said, "The worst thing a man can do is go bald. Never let yourself go bald."

She went on to graduate from Princeton, but when she was younger, lots of people dismissed this actress as nothing more than a pretty face after she said, "Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."

Which "sometimes she feels like a nut, sometimes she doesn't" American pop star said she loves touring because she "gets to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada"?

This hard-partying, gravitationally-challenged blonde plastic surgery victim once said, "I make Jessica Simpson look like a rock scientist."

A comedian once made this insensitive comment, which postulated that people should stop whining about persecution: "Gays need to quit being p—s and not be whining about something as insignificant as bullying."

It's odd this 'Celebrity Rehab' participant is so tiny, given how many people roam around in her body. As she once said, "I often feel like I have this spirit living inside of me, always dressing in, like, short miniskirts ... There are 8 spirits, mischievous ones, sad ones, handsome ones, wise ones, and crazy ones."

A former fictional secret agent thinks hitting ladies is okay because, hey, some of them like that. He once claimed, "To slap a woman is not the cruelest thing you can do to her. There are women who take it to the wire. That's what they are looking for. They want a smack."

This model turned reality show host/judge doesn't like to cover her boobs -- because where she's from, no one wears shirts. As she claims, "I'm European. I don't like wearing tops."

A super slim actress and model cruelly said this about the lovely Marilyn Monroe: "I've always thought she looked fabulous, but I'd kill myself if I was that fat."

This musician/proud NRA member is convinced that neither guns nor their owners kill people. He once gazed into his crystal ball and claimed, "There are hundreds of millions of gun owners in this country, and not one of them will have an accident today."

This artist obviously rapped about raping someone and then denied it, claiming, "Woman is the most precious gift known to man. It was a misunderstanding with a lyric, a misinterpretation where the term 'rape' wasn’t used ... Hip-hop don't condone that."