- Kanye West took Kim Kardashian to Rome for her birthday, where she wore what may be the most unflattering dress ever. [Celebitchy]

- Lady Gaga, who wanted her recently-released perfume to smell like "blood and semen," is now launching her own line of bottled water. We're afraid. So very afraid. [PopCrush]

- If you're wondering why Rihanna is even willing to speak to Chris Brown, let alone go back to him, now you know: daddy issues. [Celebuzz]

- Speaking of lousy fathers, Michael Lohan is still pretending he cares about Lindsay. [Dlisted]

- Madonna's daughter Lourdes had a better summer job than you ever had. [PEOPLE]