Kesha + Johnny Depp Had Consensual ‘Eyeball Sex’
Glitter-encrusted singer Kesha is no stranger to saying and doing things that make people roll their eyes — from drinking her own urine to performing fellatio on pastries, wearing undergarments made out of teeth and having sex with ghosts — but this is probably the first time her eyes rolled around in the sheets.
We just hope she and actor Johnny Depp, who was allegedly the one sexing her up with his peepers, used protection.
“Me and Johnny Depp had eyeball sex at the benefit concert for Superstorm Sandy in LA,” Kesha claims. “We never really talked – we just had eyeball sex.”
If Kesha is now knocked up with an eyeball child, that’s what she gets for not using proper protective goggles.
So is Johnny the right man for Kesha? According to the singer, “I just want a guy who has a big penis and a car.” Standards!
Difficult as it is to believe, Depp’s peen wasn’t magical enough to convert Amber Heard, so maybe it’s not that special. But since we do know he has a car, he can at least drive Kesha to Party City when she runs out of glitter.