They've made so many sequels to the spoof-tastic ‘Scary Movie’ that they’re having a hard time coming up with scary situations to put in the upcoming ‘Scary Movie 5’ -- so clearly, what the writers did was sit in a dark room and try to imagine the most frightening set of circumstances known to man.

The result?

Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan making the beast with two backs.

Think about it: The most terrifying concept known to man at this point in time really is the idea of Sheen and Lohan getting it on. What if they reproduced? The resulting offspring would likely be born with a pack-a-day habit and wind up in rehab before he's even potty-trained.

But breathe easy -- the Sheen/Lohan hook-up is completely fictional and only happened in front of the camera on the set of ‘Scary Movie 5.’ According to a source for the New York Post, the pair filmed a love scene in bed together that involved kisses and an S&M collar (seriously).

You know, this might actually be a good tactic for the franchise and make the fifth installment the most horrifying of all.