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Sounds Kinkier Than It Is: Kim Kardashian Is Still ‘Handcuffed’ to Kris Humphries

Kris Humphries Kim Kardashian Kanye West
Bruce Bennett / Ben Pruchnie / Steve Mack, Getty Images

In the latest edition of the Divorce Lasting Longer Than Their Relationship, Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries are getting closer and closer to a trial — and some special guests may join them for the ride.

Like one Mr. Kanye West.

Poor K.K. just wants to move on with her life (and likely to another televised wedding to Yeezy), but she can’t.

Her attorney, Laura Wasser, told a judge Wednesday (Nov. 28) that unlike normal divorce proceedings, Kardashian can’t end the marriage and get to the details later, because “Ms. Kardashian is now handcuffed to Mr. Humphries.”

Her life is just so hard, you guys!

And the reason she’s been “handcuffed”? Not some ‘Fifty Shades’ nonsense, but some prenup nonsense.

Though the couple had a seemingly iron-clad document drawn up before they wed, Humphries is pushing for an annulment based on fraud. The NBA star hasn’t specified exactly what about the reality starlet’s marriage to him was fraudulent (let’s remember this is a woman who once underwent an X-ray to prove she never had butt implants) but he does think she married him only for her TV show. So maybe he’s not as dumb as he looks.

Some have also speculated that Humphries wants an annulment because the prenup states that in the case of divorce, he’s not allowed to sell the story of their marriage. But if an actual divorce never happens? Legal loophole. He can sing to his little heart’s — and bank account’s — content.

Humphries and his attorney are still collecting documents from NBC Universal and E!, which produces and airs the multitude of Kardashian reality series. (We’ll never forgive you for foisting this family upon us, Ryan Seacrest.)

Superior Court Judge Stephen Moloney hasn’t set a deadline for depositions, but he did tell the former couple that he wants them in court by Feb. 15 to either dissolve or annul the marriage.

Kim’s mom, Kris Jenner, was recently deposed, as was current beau Kanye.

As sick as we are of this whole thing, we’re hoping Yeezy gets inspired by it all. Who wouldn’t want a followup to the Kim-inspired ‘Perfect Bitch’?

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