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Gwyneth Paltrow Occasionally Eats Oreos Like She’s a Commoner or Something

Gwyneth Paltrow
Ralph, Pacific Coast News

Turns out Gwyneth Paltrow may be human after all, because the actress and GOOP guru has admitted to succumbing to the temptations of one of America’s favorite snacks.

In her GOOP newsletter, Gwynnie regularly answers questions from lowly peasants fans. And this week, one reader wanted to know how Paltrow gets her kids to go along with the gluten, sugar and fun-free diet outlined in her maligned cookbook, ‘It’s All Good.’

Long story short: Seems some traitor slipped 8-year-old Apple and 6-year-old Moses some foodstuff that wasn’t made from seaweed or dirt, corrupting their taste buds and bringing a blight upon the household.

“I tried to start them off with all of the right foods but as they got older, the lure of Oreos and cotton candy outweighed the lure of carrots with hummus,” Gwyn writes. Then comes the shocker: “And that’s all a part of childhood, and I love Oreos too, so I completely understand.”

Can you imagine when Gwyneth Paltrow saw an Oreo for the first time? It had to have looked something like a cave man discovering that sticks are good for burning as well as stabbing. Pure awe.

“I try to make sure that what is on their plate at home is nutritious and tasty and then I loosen way up on the reins when we are out,” she continued, showing she’s not a hardliner. In fact, the kids even get a “Coke of the week” – which may or may not be organic Earl Grey tea with bubbles blown into it.

It’s good to know that Gwyneth isn’t as strict as we all think she is. But if you ever see Apple and Moses Army-crawling on a movie theater floor looking for stray Milk Duds like animals coming out of hibernation, you’ll know why.

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