Gwyneth Paltrow Is the Best Dressed Woman in the World. Wait, Seriously?
PEOPLE has issued its 2012 Best Dressed list, christening actress, Chris Martin's baby mama and Goop curator Gwyneth Paltrow the World's Best Dressed Woman.
In the world? The whole world? Really, PEOPLE?
Translated: All you have to do to dress well is be filthy rich, have an army of stylists, be besties with some of the chicest designers on the planet, and have a rotating shift of nannies and household help on speed-dial.
It also doesn't hurt to have the cash for a pricey macrobiotic diet that produces a stick-thin figure. Oh, and you'll need a special talent for manufacturing a British accent at will.
So really, anyone can do it.
Paltrow's stylist Elizabeth Saltzman explained why Gwynnie the Goopmaster always looks so good, saying, "She has a uniform: It's simple, not overdone. She goes, 'I'm happy -- and that matters more.' That's what sets her apart from the rest."
Yeah, that and her WASPy smug attitude and the audacity that allows her to sell plain white t-shirts for $90 a pop on her website.
Other stylistas celebrated by PEOPLE? Actress Diane Kruger (Best High Fashion Style), Kate Middleton (Best Classic Style), Emma Stone (Best Red Carpet Style), Jessica Alba (Best Jeans Style), Rihanna (Best Risk-Taking Style) and those ubiquitous Kardashians (Best Trend-Setting Style.)
We hafta take issue with that last entry. Since when did Sears, which peddles the sisters' cheap (but not chic) Kardashian Kollection, become the place trendsetters go to scope out clothes?
Oh, that's right. They don't. You buy appliances there, not Herve Leger bandage dress knockoffs.