If you had the chance to talk one-on-one with Santa Claus, would you use that opportunity to entangle him in your militant and utterly insane crusade against the phrase “happy holidays”?

Of course you would -- if you're one of the hosts of ‘Fox and Friends.'

In this interview, we’re presented with a man who can only be described as jolly. His Santa laugh is spot-on perfect. He’s spent much of his adult life bringing holiday cheer to children and festive party-goers everywhere.

He wrote a book and wants to make a buck, but hey -- this is America. Nobody faults him for that.

So what would possess these phony and bitter show hosts to talk him into a corner about political correctness and the evolution of society? Why would they focus on their made up "war" instead of the true meaning of Christmas, which is what this sweet Santa wrote about?

We're thinking it had to do with a desire for some lumps of coal. (Coal is a commodity these days.)

They make this poor Santa take a stand against saying “happy holidays,” which he actually manages to do in a most graceful way by saying, “I wish people would always have happy holidays, but I tend to be a little bit more specific. I can’t find any reference where Santa’s ever said anything other than ‘Merry Christmas,’ so I like to wish people a merry Christmas.”

Sadly, they twist this by including a graphic featuring the words, “End the ‘war’ on Christmas. Pro Santa won’t say ‘happy holidays.’”

This poor guy isn’t worried about a war on Christmas, he just likes making kids smile. He even seemed more amused than concerned by the fact that paranoia has run so rampant that some Santas can’t even have kids on their laps anymore and now have to say “Ha Ha Ha” instead of “Ho Ho Ho.”

But as usual, Fox isn't focused on any of that, only their own bizarre worldview. Maybe the hosts should gift each other with shoehorns -- it'll make getting their tinfoil hats on and off ever so much easier.