Brandi Glanville Used Ex-Husband Eddie Cibrian’s Credit Card to Buy a Revenge Vajayjay
The average citizen can cultivate themselves a revenge body post-breakup. A revenge vagina, not so much. But after ending her marriage with Eddie Cibrian, ‘Real Housewives’ star Brandi Glanville did just that, paying for a shiny new vajayjay with her ex’s credit card information.
It’s only fair. Eddie got some new ladybits in the form of LeAnn Rimes, so Glanville figured she might as well get some too. As they say, an eye for an eye, a vaj for a vaj.
In her dishy new tell-all book, ‘Drinking and Tweeting’, Glanville rants about the dissolution of her marriage thanks to a “flat-chested” Rimes and an incident involving cake, but who cares about all that nonsense anymore. Let’s get to the good stuff, shall we?
After Cibrian left her for Rimes, Glanville looked down and realized that, much like many used cars, her vaj had been abused by its last owner. And she decided to do something about it.
“A brand-new vagina would be an Eddie-free vagina … I decided that since Eddie had ruined my vagina for me, he could pay for a new one,” she wrote in her memoir, going on to explain that she underwent vaginal rejuvenation surgery.
But shiny new ladybits have a price — $12,000, to be exact. And how did she foot the bill?
“I gave [the doctor’s office] Eddie’s credit card number.”
You know, we roll our eyes when we see the daily venom that spews from Glanville lately, but this story? Is made of sunshine and rainbows. It may be the best scorned-woman tale that doesn’t involve the judicial system ever.
In the memoir, Glanville also gives props to her ex for all his help shaping her life. “I would like to thank my ex-husband, Edward Cibrian,” she writes, “for giving me all the material I could ever need to write this book and for helping me discover the strong independent woman inside of me.”
And apparently, outside of her, too.