Suffers From: Billybobthortonobia (fear of old things, including silverware and antique furniture)

There really is no official term for being afraid of antique furniture and silverware, so we just named it after the man who is afraid of things you could find in an attic: Billy Bob Thornton.

As he told the New York Times, "It’s that French/English/Scottish old mildewy stuff. Old dusty heavy drapes and big tables with lions’ heads carved in it. Stuff that kings were around ... It was too big to be functional."

As for silver, apparently it's just no good because it distracts from your food. "You know when you go to a dinner party and they use good silver and the fork is three feet long? It’s like a damn garden implement."