Jessica Simpson

Gwyneth Paltrow, tired of raking in millions to be one of the most overrated actresses in Hollywood, would rather focus her time on building her own empire of expensive things no one really needs. Just like Jessica Simpson.

Seems there's a lot of ice skating going on in hell these days, because serial-dater John Mayer finally admitted he exhibited some douche-like behavior to his former lady loves Jessica Simpson, Jennifer Aniston and Taylor Swift.

As you probably know by now, Jessica Simpson is pregnant again, but it's totally not her fault. Her egg was just sitting there minding its own business when fiance Eric Johnson's sperm rudely decided to inseminate it without even asking. And that's how babies are made. Thanks, Jess!

In "totally good idea" news that isn't, Universal Television, Electus and NBC are partnering up to create a scripted sitcom about Jessica Simpson's life. Starring, of course, Jessica Simpson.

Newly-pregnant Jessica Simpson showed off her glowing preggers skin and her enormous boobies in Hawaii while on a holiday vacay with her family.

Now that Jessica Simpson has confirmed what we already knew, she's free to share endless photos of her burgeoning belly so the paparazzi don't have to. And given Kim Kardashian's own gynecological news, the next few months are gonna be an epic Instagram showdown between the two. Yay. Awesome. (Blargh.)

Remember when Joe Simpson made all those creepy remarks about daughter Jessica Simpson's rack? And how you "can't cover those suckers up"? Turns out he might be right.

Pretty much everyone already knew that Jessica Simpson blew her deal with Weight Watchers by getting herself knocked up again mere minutes after shedding the weight she gained from her first pregnancy earlier this year. But for those of you who didn't know, now you have your confirmation.

It's not easy to be Jessica Simpson: Sure, she's wealthy and gorgeous, but she has an underemployed groom-to-be, a Weight Watchers contract that's not going to work out so well and no real grasp of how the reproductive system works. Now she also has a dad who's really hungry for her cash, to the point of potentially depriving it from her fiance and baby.

Jessica Simpson presents a style conundrum. When she's on, she is on. But when she has a fashion blunder, it's bad enough to make national news. She has some serious strengths and heads a massive fashion empire that includes clothes, handbags and shoes -- but one might wonder how it can be worth $100 million when Jessica herself can't consistently dress herself well.

She may be the face of Weight Watchers for now, but the second Jessica Simpson starts blowing up with that pregnancy weight, she might be dropped like a sack of potatoes. And at around five Weight Watchers points each, that's a whole lotta potatoes.

The interwebs are ablaze with chatter that Jessica Simpson -- who just seven months ago birthed her first baby -- is "accidentally" knocked up again after a sperm apparently tripped and fell into one of her eggs. At first we were all "doesn't she know how how babies are made?" and then we remembered who we're talking about here so never mind.

Jessica Simpson lost 60 pounds post pregnancy, and it's all thanks to Weight Watchers. And her nutritionist. And her personal trainer. And her dietician, private chef, personal assistant and personal assistant's personal assistant. But, you know, mostly Weight Watchers.

Joe Simpson, the former Baptist minister and breast-loving father of Jessica, is allegedly gay, which would certainly explain his September split from wife Tina. What's more, he's now moved onto greener and manlier pastures with a 20-something plaything. Again, allegedly.

Remember a few months ago when Jessica Simpson was pregnant and she did the thing that celebrity women are never ever supposed to do and got kinda, how can we put this, well … fat? You don’t want to say it, but you were thinking it too. We know. She was. But not anymore.