Shut Up Already

Ashton Kutcher is either Andy Kaufman-ing all of us or lacks a hint of self-awareness. The 'Two And a Half Men' actor and prolific tweeter is saying the media -- of which he's a part -- ruined Twitter for him.

Remember how Katy Perry, singer of binge drinking anthem 'Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.),' called out rapper Chief Keef indirectly over Twitter after she heard his track 'I Hate Being Sober' on the radio? That didn't sit well with Keef, who isn't known for having the best judgment.

Farrah Abraham is taking this porn thing a lot more seriously than she takes parenthood or (planning parenthood). She's set to appear at a porn expo because, you know, she's super private about her sex tape.

Donald Trump will more or less put his face on anything -- cufflinks, eyewear and even hunks of meat. But now he's lent himself to a new crowdfunding website, and has decided to give away "suitcases full of cash" to help spread the word. Provided he doesn't bankrupt the company first, of course.

Ray J, the sometime singer/Brandy's brother/that guy who made a sex tape with Kim Kardashian now has a music video out to accompany his newest single 'I Hit It First.' And to further prove that his song is definitely not about Kim Kardashian (even though it totally is), he cast her doppelganger in the video. Logic!

In news that should be surprisingly to exactly zero people, Taylor Swift is still mad about that big mean jerk John Mayer dumping her back in the day. And the one thing that may bug her more than boys who do bad things (because nothing is ever her fault)? Losing at awards ceremonies. That said, the ACMs turned out to be a perfect storm of "stink" for Swift.

Farrah Abraham is continuing her porn tour, talking to anyone who will listen about the video she commissioned with James Deen, then tried to pass off as a stolen sex tape. The latest? She admits it was her idea, doesn't want it released without tons of cash thrown at her and thinks Deen's ween needs some work. And she admitted all of this to TMZ cameras while walking around an airport ... with he

In case you missed it, Jeremy Irons went on a bizarre tangent about gay marriage that ended with him concluding that fathers may end up marrying their sons ... but that it wouldn't be incest because they're both male, and that it would be done just for tax purposes. Or something. Now, the actor is backpedaling, but still leaving us flummoxed.

Proving that she probably has never frequented the same strip clubs as her BFF Jay-Z, Gwyneth Paltrow compared herself to a 22-year-old stripper because of her workouts with Tracy Anderson.

When you have nothing to offer, you make a sex tape. When you have the name recognition from a sex tape but nothing else to offer, you get a VH1 reality show. When you finally realize you're completely irrelevant save for the same last name as a B-to-C-list singer, you release a song about your sex tape partner who got you your reality show. Cue non-entity Ray J's new single, 'I Hit It First,' abo

Donald Trump is dropping his latest frivolous, attention-starved lawsuit against Bill Maher.

Gwyneth Paltrow is really glad that we're all rolling in cash despite being in the midst of the worst recession since the Great Depression, and she's celebrating in style. The GOOP shiller has a few ideas for cute, cazh spring outfits -- absolute must-haves -- that only cost a total of about half a million dollars.

Judge Jim Dabney isn't the only person who wants Lindsay Lohan to drop Mark Heller. Her proud papa, Michael Lohan -- a lukewarm mess to her mom Dina's hot -- not only urged Lilo to get a new attorney (and even found one for her), but also claims to know what tricks Heller has up his sleeve. And as he's wont to do, Michael Lohan is running his mouth about it.

Being that Lady Gaga is a huge gay icon and advocate for equality, you'd think her fans would be thrilled at another star supporting her pet cause. And they are. Except when that star is Madonna.

Mila Kunis is the sexiest woman alive. She's rich. She's famous. Overall, things are going pretty swimmingly for her. She'd just rather you not take her picture without asking.

Kanye West had yet another onstage meltdown in London. Perhaps the knowledge that the Kardashians have got him for 18 years (18 years) had something to do with it.

Blowhard billionaire Donald Trump generally uses his Twitter account to complain about the state of the world, which is why everyone was confused when he seemingly posted a “raunchy” Lil Wayne lyric from will.i.am. and Britney Spears' remix version of 'Scream & Shout' instead of announcing his latest ridiculous lawsuit.

The Brandi Glanville/LeAnn Rimes feud has felt like a never-ending playground slapfight, with Glanville attacking Rimes and Rimes pretending she's too good to respond yet still doing it anyway -- albeit passive-aggressively. Now, to further appear the victim, Rimes has tasked her representative with telling Brandi Glanville everything she thinks about her. If only so she can be the girl who didn't

It was kind of funny for a while, but we're pretty much over Brandi Glanville's one-note “girl who cried affair” routine. In her never-ending quest to make sure everyone knows her ex-husband Eddie Cibrian left her in the dust for LeAnn Rimes (not something we'd be so eager to admit), Brandi continued to flap her gums about the whole mess on 'The Today Show.'

UPDATED: According to Brown's reps, this whole thing was the work of a hoaxster. One of his mouthpieces told Gossip Cop, “It’s fake. He currently doesn’t have an Instagram.” Which could be an attempt at damage control, or it could be the truth. You decide. ---- Chris Brown recently took to his Instagram account, which he made private after a fight with singer Frank Ocean, to complain about how har