Shut Up Already

Miley Cyrus can't stop, and she specifically can't stop putting her foot in her painted, veneer-filled mouth. The 'Hannah Montana' star turned self-proclaimed "urban" singer accidentally butt-tweeted a conversation in which she talks about popping a Xanax because she's miserable -- and in a separate incident, claimed the world was jacking her swag. Okay.

Justin Bieber's mom, Pattie Mallette, is on a book tour. She's on a book tour because she's Justin Bieber's mom. And guess who she doesn't want to talk about? That's right, her little Canadian phenom son and the very reason she's almost relevant.

Selena Gomez has no issue openly making fun of Justin Bieber or using his voicemails in her songs when she wants some press attention, but here go Hell come if you dare to actually ask her about him.

Miley Cyrus is too busy pretending not to know who One Direction are and scrambling for an IV to alleviate her dehydration for all things "urban" (her words, not ours) to realize when she's a pot calling a kettle black. Case in point? She's instructing Justin Bieber to take time away from the spotlight so people won't get sick of him -- and so he can party in private.

Like most of us, Selena Gomez finds Bradley Cooper mesmerizing. Also like most of us, Gomez finds Justin Bieber pretty distressing. Unlike most of us, though, Gomez still shacks up with and uses Bieber for publicity, so whose fault is that?

Farrah Abraham demonstrated once more that she has no plans for getting admitted into MENSA, even just to clean the floors of their offices. The 'Back Door Teen Mom' star was asked what she thought about the Trayvon Martin verdict, and, lo and behold, she had no clue who Trayvon Martin was.

Taylor Swift not letting something go? Surely, you jest! To the surprise of pretty much no one, the country crossover starlet is once more bringing up a man that made her mad. This time, her passive aggression is directed not at a big mean exboyfriend, but at Kanye West. Yes, still. But to her credit, at least this time there was a sense of humor involved.

About a month ago, Abercrombie & Fitch pulled a shirt listing the many men who have inspired songs by Taylor Swift. Now, a pretty uncreative EDM clothing line has done the same thing -- and somehow, for some reason, they're shocked at the backlash they've received. To be fair, that backlash includes death threats from Swift's fans. C'mon, everyone. Why you gotta be so mean?

Don't even try talking to Meg Ryan or Rihanna. Ever.

Just like Chris Brown doesn't care about his neighbors' kids, motor vehicle laws or Rihanna, his camp doesn't give a hoot about his poor marketability. When a Canadian telecommunications giant pulled out of a huge radio concert following Breezy being added to the lineup, they ignored just what makes him so unappealing to advertisers and just ranted about how great he is -- completely missing the p

After getting a whole lot of bad press for peeing in a soap bucket and degrading the lovable Bill Clinton, Justin Bieber is emerging with his tail between his legs. And his hand on the Stanley Cup. Wait, what?

Selena Gomez is a crafty little princess. After refusing to ever publicly speak about her on-again-off-again love Justin Bieber (except for when she mocked him on live TV), she featured a voicemail from him on a new song.

Michael Lohan dropped some of what people assumed were truth bombs over the weekend about his famously troubled (but recovering) daughter, Lindsay Lohan. But lo and behold! It turns out he -- or tabloids -- may not be so credible after all.

LeAnn Rimes is taking a ride in the wahmbulance. The attention-loving former country singer-cum-oversharing Twitter personality is talking about how she was bullied before social media existed -- and not even by Brandi Glanville.

Kristen Stewart spent her Fourth of July surrendering to Paris Fashion Week, but not to photographers. Despite being at, well, Paris Fashion Week, the 'Twilight' starlet apparently didn't understand that her purpose at the style mecca was to be photographed. As a result, she was caught on camera lashing out at paparazzi for no reason.

When multimillionaire Zach Braff started a Kickstarter to fund a new movie -- which would have been picked up by a production company had he not insisted on starring in it -- he garnered the ire not just of John Q. Public, but also of Morgan Freeman. Add another name to the list of eye rollers: James Franco. There's a twist, though: Franco is getting donations for one of his own projects. What giv

Alec Baldwin has issues with telecommunication. First there was the Words With Friends debacle on the plane, and now he's facing the fallout of his wife allegedly tweeting during James Gandolfini's funeral ... and of his subsequent Twitter rant following the accusations. His solution? He and Twitter are never getting back together. Like, ever.

Paparazzos are sometimes annoying or aggressive. A photog who caught up with Kanye West (en route to cure a leper, probs) in New York this weekend was being neither -- but that didn't stop Yeezus from throwing a holy hissy fit.

We haven't heard much from Farrah Abraham lately, but don't worry -- she still has the tabloids on speed-dial. This time around, she continues to be bitter that James Deen blew the lid on her 'Back Door Teen Mom' porno. You know, the one she tried to pass off as a private sex tape, despite hiring a professional porn star to appear in it with her and selling it through Vivid. Her latest allegation

Finally, LeAnn Rimes is content. Her new record is coming out, her stepchildren call her "mom" and she's happily married. Life is good. Except ... not really, because she's still harping about how awful things have been.