The English language cried quietly to itself when this former hype man/hip-hop group member explained of his love interest, " is very, very dramatical. She tried to hypmotize me."
Obviously animals only procreate to be made into fur coats. At least according to this model, who said, "I believe that mink are raised for being turned into fur coats. And if we didn't wear fur coats, those little animals would never have been born!"
Despite his body being mostly made of water and despite swimming in tons of water for a living, this Olympian once made the vast understatement, "Water is practically a part of my life."
Remember that time the Beatles got back together? Neither do we, but this girl group member does, explaining, "You know how the Beatles broke off -- they all did their solo projects and they came back together and they were even stronger."
Adding credence to the old adage that when it comes to brains, pro athletes are sometimes a few players short of a team, this former basketball player once bragged, "We're gonna turn this team around 360 degrees."
This slightly deranged actor has clearly never taken anatomy. He once threatened, "If you put that straight jacket on me, I am going to pull your endocrine system out of your body."
This socialite and daughter of rock royalty is a fan of Jennifer Aniston's -- just not her hideous face. As she tells it, "I like her cause she's, you know, homely. She obviously has to have something else."
This singer turned Playboy model got her start after being discovered on a reality show, but she lost what little clout she had by saying, "I don't condone Hitler one ounce, but yes, he was a brilliant man. Can you guys say that he wasn't? He ran a country."
Quick, get out your smallest violins. This R&B star previously whined, "Latching on to my every word and criticizing makes you look thirsty. I can't even piss without somebody complaining. Imagine how I feel."
This pop star, known for her intriguing and often provocative clothing choices, once confessed, "I think there's a fine line between being a slut and being classy. I walk in between that line."
This actor could change people's lives -- if he cared to. As he once explained, "It sounds vain, but I could probably make a difference for almost everyone I ever met if I chose to involve myself."
Here's what happens when you invite this crazed actor over for the holidays: "I had not entirely let go of whatever magic I had been channeling, and all hell broke loose ... I kept saying over and over, 'Merry Christmas you assholes!'"
When asked the third grade question, "Budapest is the capital of what European country?" this former 'American Idol' contestant replied with the painful, "I thought Europe was a country?"
This retired sports star once sweet-talked ladies everywhere by complaining, "Listening to a woman is almost as bad as losing to one. There are only three things that women are better at than men: cleaning, cooking and having sex."
Being a supermodel is tough work. This one once explained of her so-called craft, "In the studio, I do try to have a thought in my head, so that it's not like a blank stare."
This lead singer always wears shades -- even inside and at night -- but he would never deign to run for office. As he explained, "I wouldn't run for president. I wouldn't want to move to a smaller house."
This former actress is unaware that cameras are said to steal your soul, which could be why she once said, "I'm on my couch and in that movie at the same time. Whoa."
This game show host finds everything curiouser and curiouser, even stuff he's not that curious about. As he once flubbed, "I'm curious about everything. Even subjects that don't interest me."
Dumb celebrity quote -- or utterly insane celebrity quote? You be the judge. This actor who once asked a reporter, "Do I have a large frog in my hair? Something's crawling out of my scalp."