Ryan Anderson

Pageants are typically superficial popularity contests that never end up promoting the inner beauty about which they pretend to care. But every once in a while, a pageant contestant comes along who shatters those expectations and proves to us that brains and beauty are not mutually exclusive. And at Miss USA 2013, that was Miss Utah.

Last time we heard from professional toolkit Joe Francis, someone had stolen his girlfriend Abbey Wilson's iPad and began peddling footage of the two bumping uglies, causing Francis to freak out (ironic, given how the 'Girls Gone Wild' honcho made his fortune). But Steve Hirsch -- the Vivid Entertainment founder who previously bought Farrah Abraham's sex tape porno -- came to Joe's rescue. Read Mo

Today (June 14) celebrities fraternized, celebrated anniversaries, contemplated amphibious lawn maintenance, pondered linguistics, made theological arguments and probably also made innuendos.

Remember that time self-proclaimed "publicist" Jonathan Jaxson claimed that Amanda Bynes was suicidal, so he helped orchestrate an intervention? Now he's claiming she's admitted her whole nutso schtick is just a ploy for attention -- and he's posted the supposed "proof" on his Twitter account.

As we reported yesterday, Farrah Abraham and Charlie Sheen have been texting, and she proudly showed TMZ proof of such. But Charlie was none too pleased about her revelation, and he's now penned an acidic missive to the teen mom that seeks to put her back in her place. Wherever that may be.

Today (June 13) celebrities handled babies, talked defecation, grew mutant elbows, attended important business meetings and got the hiccups.

Looks like Farrah Abraham is one step closer to becoming a goddess, because she's officially been texting Charlie Sheen for a month now.

Gwyneth Paltrow is inexplicably everywhere all at once these days. She's on red carpets and magazine covers and inside your kitchen dumping your Lucky Charms down the garbage disposal because of their sugar content. So it's no surprise Vanity Fair wanted to do a cover story on her. What is a surprise is that Gwyn didn't want anything to do with it.

Now that Farrah Abraham has a bestselling sex tape, it's high time she looked the part (well, looked the part even more). So last month, she had herself retrofitted with a new pair of boobs to replace the old-new boobs she bought a while back. But since these are way better, maybe she won't be so ignored at porn conventions.

Today (June 12) celebrities re-watched a classic, planned tattoos, denied getting other tattoos, suffered lingerie nostalgia and made no sense.

Miley Cyrus heard the rumors swirling about a possible hook-up with Justin Bieber, and she's none too pleased. So she's apparently taken to calling into radio shows to set the record straight.

In what may be forever known as the last temptation of Yeezus, a Canadian model has stepped forward claiming she slept with Kanye West on two separate occasions -- once during  Kim Kardashian's current pregnancy. Kanye, however, says her pants are on fire.

In a chain of events that some feel brings to mind the harbingers of death in the book of Revelation, Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber were spotted canoodling at a Los Angeles hot spot over the weekend before leaving together.

Today (June 11) celebrities got political, rediscovered themselves, ate dinner, paid tribute to pets, and dealt with flooded inboxes.

Paparazzos are sometimes annoying or aggressive. A photog who caught up with Kanye West (en route to cure a leper, probs) in New York this weekend was being neither -- but that didn't stop Yeezus from throwing a holy hissy fit.

Now that Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan are parents, it makes sense that they would immediately receive unsolicited advice from Snooki. (MTV pays her for that now, you know.)

Heidi Klum got slightly catty off the catwalk this weekend during a boozy bout with her boyfriend/bodyguard Martin Kristen.

Despite not wanting to be seen or paid attention to, Amanda Bynes continues to spend a lot of time trudging around Times Square. And this weekend was no different.

Kanye West has done his best to avoid both most of the Kardashian clan and the paparazzi, occasionally losing brain cells in the process. But with no results, he's been forced to up the ante -- possibly relocating squeeze Kim Kardashian and their daughter Khristy to France.

Today (June 10) celebrities sent family emails, got dolled up, liked 'Game of Thrones,' joined Twitter and partook of a little legal tokage.