After dating Swift for roughly three months -- her average relationship shelf-life -- Styles reportedly got pretty upset that she still wouldn't put out. What, you mean 18-year-old guys aren't just content with holding hands at the zoo?
Continuing to stoke the fires of a feud that doesn't really exist (but soon could) between her and Taylor Swift, Miley Cyrus posted some pictures of herself in bed cuddling with a cardboard likeness of newly-single singer Harry Styles -- and then got all pissy when people thought she actually had a thing for him or something.
Because as she's so eloquently said before, she's not the slutty one here.
So you know how Taylor Swift was all weepy and sad when she left Harry Styles all alone in the British Virgin Isles after their traumatic, earth-shattering breakup? After dating all of like, three months?
Yeah. He didn't look too upset about it. Especially not when he was partying in a hot tub with another girl.
Taylor Swift believes in fairy tales because she's pretty much living one. To the chagrin of delusional Directioners everywhere, Harry Styles professed his love for Swift on New Year's Eve -- then jetted off with her to a tropical island.
If she ever complains about anything, read those two sentences to her over and over again. (And perhaps remind her that she took home $56 million last year.)
Tattoos are forever, unless you're willing to go through extremely painful laser removal surgery. Which is why it's a particularly bad idea to get tattooed and bring along your crazed girlfriend of three months who goes through boyfriends like a teenage girl goes through chewing gum.
A ship. Ships sail into the middle of nowhere. Where even Taylor Swift can't find him.
OH MY GOD HARRY WE UNDERSTAND NOW WE'RE COMING TO HELP.