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Gwyneth Paltrow
Jason Merritt, Getty Images

You’d Have to Get a Third Job to Afford Eating From Gwyneth Paltrow’s Cookbook

If you haven't already heard, Gwyneth Paltrow has a new no meat, no dairy, no sugar, no wheat cookbook out called 'It's All Good.' Spoilers: It's not.

Not only does said book reduce you to eating the grass clippings from your lawnmower, but to cook from it for a day would set you back $300.

No, that's not an error, and no, you didn't just get dizzy because you've reduced yourself to a vegan, soy-free, gluten-free diet to fit into Gwyn's size 00 GOOP clothes: That says $300.

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Mark Mainz, Getty Images / YouTube (2)

Style Fails: Gwyneth Paltrow’s Braless Goth

WASP queen Gwyneth Paltrow was only a few years removed from her Oscar win (and the fluffy pink Ralph Lauren confection she wore when she picked up her trophy) when she donned this sloppy mess by Alexander McQueen for the 2002 Academy Awards.

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Gwyneth Paltrow
Ralph, Pacific Coast News

Gwyneth Paltrow Occasionally Eats Oreos Like She’s a Commoner or Something

Turns out Gwyneth Paltrow may be human after all, because the actress and GOOP guru has admitted to succumbing to the temptations of one of America's favorite snacks.

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Gwyneth Paltrow
Pacific Coast News

Gwyneth Paltrow’s Ideas of Spring ‘Essentials’ Will Only Set You Back About $450,000

Gwyneth Paltrow is really glad that we're all rolling in cash despite being in the midst of the worst recession since the Great Depression, and she's celebrating in style.

The GOOP shiller has a few ideas for cute, cazh spring outfits -- absolute must-haves -- that only cost a total of about half a million dollars.

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Jessica Alba, Gwyneth Paltrow
Jason Merritt / Pablo Blazquez Dominguez, Getty Images

Jessica Alba Says Her Lifestyle Tips Are More Realistic Than Gwyneth Paltrow’s

Jessica Alba has a new book, 'The Honest Life: Living Naturally and True to You,' which she thinks might fare better with the common man than whatever Queen Gwyneth Paltrow has to say on the subject.

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Gwyneth Paltrow
Pedro Andrade/KVS,

Critics and Nutritionists Really Don’t Like Gwyneth Paltrow’s New Cookbook

If Gwyneth Paltrow can't take the heat, maybe she better get outta the kitchen. Literally.

The 'Iron Man' actress penned a gluten and sugar-free cookbook entitled 'It's All Good,' but the critics seem to disagree.

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Carlos Alvarez / Jamie McCarthy, Getty Images

Gwyneth Paltrow Yearns to Be More Like Her Idol Jessica Simpson

Gwyneth Paltrow, tired of raking in millions to be one of the most overrated actresses in Hollywood, would rather focus her time on building her own empire of expensive things no one really needs. Just like Jessica Simpson.

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Ian Gavan / Frederick M. Brown / Vittorio Zunino Celotto

Gwyneth Paltrow – Outrageous Celebrity Purchases

$12,000 Hand Painted Wallpaper

Gwyneth Paltrow only wants the finer things in life, including all natural food picked by organic farm-raised orphans and, of course, hand painted wallpaper.

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Gwyneth Paltrow Cameron Diaz
Tim Whitby / Carlos Alvarez, Getty Images

Gwyneth Paltrow ‘Helping’ Cameron Diaz With Her Mid-Life Crisis by Banning Sexytime

After splitting from her boyfriend, Yankees' third baseman Alex Rodriguez, rumors started swirling that Cameron Diaz was going through some sort of mid-life crisis. Thankfully, her best bud Gwyneth Paltrow was there to help put her life back on track -- by making it as dull as possible.

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Jennifer Lawrence and Julianne Moore made big bucks to wear gorgeous jewelry.
Kevin Winter/Frederick M. Brown, Getty Images

Got Some Pricey Bling? You Might Be Able to Rent a Celebrity to Wear It

While we sit on our sofas in sweat pants and judge the award season red carpet looks, we always end up drooling over the shiny and very expensive jewelry the stars get to wear with their gowns. We can’t imagine what it would be like to walk around with $2.5 million hanging around our necks or dangling from our ears.

And we really can’t imagine someone paying us to wear the bling, as opposed to us paying them to look sparkly for a night. But that’s how it works: Turns out that jewelers pay to have their baubles worn.

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Gwyneth Paltrow’s Mom-Dance May Very Well Be the Whitest Thing in the History of Ever [VIDEO]

Gwyneth Paltrow rang in the New Year onstage with her husband, Coldplay singer Chris Martin, their children and, of course, Jay-Z -- because Gwynnie's life is never quite perfect enough.

But since she showed off her awesome white girl mom-dance, we're all a little better for the experience.

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Frank Micelotta / Imeh Akpanudosen / Jason Merritt, Getty Images

Gwyneth Paltrow’s Faux Punk Rocker

At the 2001 Oscars, Gwyneth Paltrow tried to shed her WASPy image by going braless in a sheer black dress with a milkmaid braid and smoky eye makeup.

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Gwyneth Paltrow Shoves Her Face Full of Marshmallows for Your Amusement [VIDEO]

Actress Gwyneth Paltrow is known not just for her breathtaking sense of pretension, but also for preaching to the world about healthy eating -- so why was she caught on tape cramming (what we assume were non-organic) marshmallows down her throat?

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Kevin Winter, Getty Images

Gwyneth Paltrow Wants You to Know Her Sex Life Is Better Than Yours, Too

Gwyneth Paltrow knows her life is better than yours and reminds you of it every chance she gets. Now she's reminding us that her sex life is better than yours, too. Which is weird because she's married to the singer of Coldplay.

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Gwyneth Paltrow
Kevin Winter, Getty Images

Gwyneth Paltrow Eats a Hamburger on a Roller Coaster. As You Do.

"Meat is murder" isn't just a Morrissey song, it's also a way of life for actress Gwyneth Paltrow.

Except when she's occasionally stuffing meat down her gullet on national television while urging the world to go vegan.

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Gwyneth Paltrow and Robert Downey Jr. make a great couple as Pepper Potts and Tony Stark in 'Iron Man.'
Frazer Harrison, Getty Images

Robert Downey Jr. + Gwyneth Paltrow

Robert Downey Jr. has quickly become one of America’s most beloved comic book heroes with his intelligent and quick-witted turn as Marvel’s 'Iron Man' (aka Tony Stark), appearing in two namesake films and in ‘The Avengers...

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Gwenyth Paltrow
Carlos Alvarez, Getty Images

Dumb Celebrity Quotes – Gwyneth Paltrow

Gwyneth Paltrow may have the pretentiousness of a thousand women, but that doesn't mean she understands how science works. So if she wants to believe eating organic food can stop cells from growing inside your body and unicorns fart rainbows then by God, that's what she's going to believe and you can't stop her.

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Gwyneth Paltrow + Cameron Diaz Lay Down the Beats for Chelsea Handler [VIDEO]

MC Gwyneth Paltrow and DJ Jazzy Cameron Diaz -- who are reportedly BFFs after Gwynnie tired of Madonna and replaced her with a newer, young model in the form of Diaz -- recently got together to pop off a little rap for mutual friend Chelsea Handler.

And for the white guys who can't jump, don't feel bad. Turns out most white girls can't rap.

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Christian Augustin / Kevin Winter, Getty Image

Gwyneth Paltrow Replaces BFF Madonna With a Younger Model

Apparently Madonna's warranty as bestie has expired, leading Gwyneth Paltrow to trade her in for a younger, prettier model.

And why was Madge was kicked to the curb like last season's thigh-high boots? Because Gwynnie wants someone she can control nurture.

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Paul Zimmerman, Getty Images

Gwyneth Paltrow’s Parenting Skills Are Way Better Than Yours

Gwyneth Paltrow, everyone's least favorite WASP and PEOPLE's Best Dressed Woman in the World, never fails to live up to her global (read: snooty) reputation.

This time around, she's revealed that her children Apple, 8, and Moses, 6, are only allowed to watch television in languages other than English. Because she's a better mother than you.

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