Chris Brown

Poor widdle Chris Brown is so exhausted after smoking all that weed and performing during his Carpe Diem tour, but mostly he's exhausted by the never-ending speculation love triangle between himself, Rihanna and Karrueche Tran. We never thought we'd say this, and it could be the warning signs of that apocalypse that never was, but we kind of agree with Chris Brown. We know, we're scared too. Read

Based on recent Instagram evidence of Rihanna hugging Chris Brown, spending holidays with him, getting a tattoo honoring him somewhere on her often-unclothed body and allegedly wanting to have his DNA-challenged babies, one might assume they're actually, you know, dating. But one might be wrong -- at least according to Christina Milian. She claims Brown is still in a relationship with his ex, Karr

You have to be pretty misguided and have relatively poor taste to be a Chris Brown fan to begin with, but it's especially difficult now that he's going and calling members of his very own "Team Breezy" fat. Over Instagram. Because that's what he does.

Occasional singer and prolific Instagrammer Rihanna may have made her relationship with Chris Brown permanent, since the Bajan beauty is rumored to have inked "Breezy" somewhere on her person. Apparently the marks Brown left on her previously didn't last quite long enough.

Since she's known for making really sound decisions, a new whopper about Rihanna dropped today: She wants to take time off to have a baby. With Chris Brown. This will turn out great!

Now that he and Rihanna have generously righted all that's wrong with music, Chris Brown is on tour in Amsterdam. And while he's there, he's taking the opportunity to smoke as much weed as humanly possible. Because when in Amsterdam, you do as the Amsterdamians do. Amsterdamites? Amsterdammers? Whatever. We just call them "the lucky few."

Arrogantly toxic and toxically arrogant couple Chris Brown and Rihanna recently posed a serious existential question: "What would music today sound like is these kids didn't exist?" Of course they pondered that whopper over social media, because they're incapable of actually expressing a thought without an audience of millions.

Despite spending Halloween and Thanksgiving side-by-side, Chris Brown and Rihanna have continued to pretend everyone is too stupid to realize they're back together. So maybe this picture of her straddling him is their official coming-out. On the plus side, at least she's wearing all her clothes this time.

Things went down (to subterranean levels) on the Twittersphere over the weekend, as Chris Brown responded to taunting from comedy writer Jenny Johnson by completely deleting his account, which is the online version of "I'm taking my ball and going home."

On Thursday, Americans ate turkey, mashed potatoes and pie to pay homage to the various tribes our ancestors killed off with smallpox. And Rihanna did something equally nonsensical: She spent Thanksgiving with Chris Brown.

It's now apparent that trying to book 'America's Next Top Model' winners isn't the only herculean task with which Wilhelmina Models is saddled. But this time around, they brought the pain upon themselves -- because they've signed Chris Brown. Yes, as a model.

Unlikely BFFs and singers Katy Perry and Rihanna are reportedly having a bit of a tiff right now over a man. And not in the usual way women fight over men in soap operas and sitcoms -- this stems from Rihanna letting abusive ex-boyfriend Chris Brown back in her life.

Just in case you didn't think Chris Brown could possibly be more offensive, he's gone and proven you wrong with his Arab terrorist-themed Halloween costume. And rest assured -- or not so assured -- he's not alone in douchebaggery, as he has four equally horrible friends willing to complete the terror cell theme.

Everyone saw it coming, and now it seems to be true: Rihanna and Chris Brown are co-mingling bodily fluids again, and we're at a loss. What do you get for the girl who has everything and just took her douchebag of an abusive boyfriend back?

In the biggest surprise since learning Santa Claus just might be mythical, chick-beater and member of the He-Man Woman Hater's Club Chris Brown failed a drug test -- a violation of his probation that could land him in the slammer. But if that happens, it seems Rihanna would likely be among the list of people visiting him behind an inch of glass on Sundays.

Slap women around and watch your CDs get similar treatment. Copies of Chris Brown's 'Fortune' record, which recently debuted at No. 1 on the Billboard charts, were slapped with an advisory sticker of a different sort at London HMV stores: The records were affixed with warning labels not for the foul language or questionable content, but because of the singer's murky, girlfriend-beating past. Read

It must be hard to be Chris Brown's girlfriend, what with his hard-partying ways and the need to keep a stack of restraining orders at the ready. Aspiring model Karrueche Tran has made a go of it anyway -- but she was none too pleased to see her man and his ex Rihanna making physical contact of the non-911-variety at the VMAs last week.

It's rather ironic that MTV continues to host the Video Music Awards, seeing as how the channel is less "video" and more "crappy faux reality shows" these days. The network broadcast its annual VMAs on Thursday night anyway -- but it was what wasn't shown on-air that had everyone buzzing.