Chris Brown and Rihanna break up and get back together every six minutes, which is to be expected from a healthy relationship based on mutual respect and the occasional assault.
The on-again-off-again couple are back on -- for now -- as evidenced by Rihanna's prolific Instagram account.
When Chris Brown and Rihanna's 8,732nd split was announced earlier today, the Internets went wild looking for anyone at which to point its collective troll finger.
Apparently one of those fingers landed on a self-proclaimed actress and model (read: waitress) named Keisha Kimball, who was spotted holding hands with Brown. But it's not what it looks like!
Will they? Won't they? Wellll ... not right now. Sources are saying music power couple Rihanna and Chris Brown have broken off whatever they had. Again.
Since Chris Brown apparently can't afford to pay valets, he needs you to buy his upcoming album. And the latest stop in his Public Contrition Tour took him to the 'Today' show, where he apologized for beating up on-again-off-again lover Rihanna.
And he made that apology ... on April Fools Day. So that seems legit.
Late last week, reports of a Chris Brown-Rihanna split emerged after a radio station tweeted that Brown said they weren't together.
Turns out that tweet was really, really old -- and they're still very much in love with one another (and with making the rest of us queasy).
Chris Brown has had a pretty eventful week. When he wasn't threatening parking valets or punting bodyguards off his private jet, he was doling out sterling relationship advice.
In short, if you're Breezy's woman, you belong to him. Every part of you. Including (and especially) your lady bits.
Maybe this is why Chris Brown lost his ish with that parking valet last night -- seems earlier yesterday, he had such harsh words with a longtime bodyguard that the dude wasn't even allowed to board a flight home with notoriously hot-tempered R&B star.
Chris Brown and parking lots just don't mix. Or rather, Chris Brown and mundane social situations do not a good time make. This time around, Brown flipped out on a valet who was just doing his job by asking for a small parking fee.
Remember how Chris Brown beat Rihanna beyond recognition back in 2009 before the Grammys? It's okay if you forgot -- apparently she and her dad did too.
In any case, Brown is like, totes sorry for that. Maybe.
Next week, 'Law & Order: SVU' will air an episode inspired by Rihanna and Chris Brown's domestic abuse case, in which Brown assaulted Rihanna before the 2009 Grammys.
