Gwyneth Paltrow Compares Herself to a 22-Year-Old Stripper. Oh.

Proving that she probably has never frequented the same strip clubs as her BFF Jay-Z, Gwyneth Paltrow compared herself to a 22-year-old stripper because of her workouts with Tracy Anderson.

Paltrow revealed to Us Weekly that the Tracy Anderson Method apparently transformed her into an Apple (and Moses) bottom.

She described an adventure trying on swimsuits with a pal when she realized she had back.

"I said, 'You know, this isn't so bad for 40, right?' And [my friend] goes, 'It's not so bad for a 22-year-old stripper!'"

Despite already being healthy and toned, Paltrow had resigned to the fate of a flat butt for life before discovering Anderson's boot(y) camp style training.

"Oh, I knew it would never change! I had exercised before I had met her … I had done Ashtanga yoga and pilates and I [ran] and I thought I was fit, you know? I just sob and then kick and scream and then I just force myself to do it," she said. "I just got obsessed. When you see results like that, I started following everything she said and she completely transformed my body and I'm so grateful."

The struggle. The struggle.

If Paltrow really wants to feel good about herself, we suggest she visit a strip club during the daytime shifts.