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Russell Brand Swears He Always Uses Condoms. The World Heaves a Collective Sigh of Relief.

Russell Brand
Theo Wargo, Getty Images

Following his somewhat awkward interview with the always perverted, usually creepy Howard Stern, Russell Brand is pulling out all the stops to assure us that yes, he always wears condoms.

Thank. God.

If you recall, Stern asked Brand a lot of personal questions, including whether he’s boning Demi Moore (he’s not), whether he boned Spice Girl Geri Halliwell (he didn’t) and various questions about the state of Katy Perry‘s vagina (which he refused to answer).

But apparently Stern also badgered Brand about whether or not he used condoms, and the British comic feels that Stern implied he doesn’t use prophylactics — and that makes the admitted and notorious womanizer mad.

“I always wear condoms. He just kept trying to imply I have sex without them,” he told The Sun.

“He kept on and on about it. It sounded like an obsession and that he’s spent a lot of time thinking about it. I’m not entirely sure how I can prove it to him.”

We have a few ideas, but they’re a little too raw to write here.

In any case, Brand added, “I do use one every time I have carnal relations. You can’t have germs flying about everywhere.

“I carry some with me all the time. In fact I think it’s even wise to consider wearing one all the time, even when no sexual activity is anticipated. You can never be too safe.”

On that note, he may want to try a Hazmat suit. Especially to sit on Stern’s couch ever again.

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