Paris Hilton May Have Proposed to Her Boyfriend to Avoid Dying Withered and Alone
Paris Hilton may have found the apple of her wonky eye in River Viiperi. Sources say the once-relevant sex tape starlet, 31, may have proposed to the 21-year-old model.
“Paris asked for River’s hand because so many of her friends are engaged or already married with kids, and she didn’t want to be some sad, old loser left on the shelf,” a source said, clearly not realizing it was too late.
“It’s incredibly impulsive because they’ve only been together a few months, but Paris believes River is the one. He’s given her an enthusiastic yes, but they’re keeping the engagement quiet for now,” the source revealed.
“Paris can see he’s a good influence. He’s very easygoing and knows how to calm her down when something annoys her.”
The insider added, “She feels her wild child days are behind her and wants the comfort that comes with marriage. Paris feels she has finally found Mr. Right, even if he is a decade younger.”
To be fair, Paris lives like a 16-year-old who just got a fake ID, so we can sort of see how this could work.
The pair have only been dating since September, but if anyone can tolerate Hilton’s nonsense and outbreaks for five weeks, let alone five months, she may as well put a ring on it. In hopes they don’t breed, seeing as Kimye are bad enough, here’s hoping she puts a NuvaRing on it too.