A dude hopped over the fence around Miley Cyrus' California home on Friday night, and when police found him hiding in the bushes, he told them she was his wife. She wasn't home at the time, but she's understandably spooked enough that she's thinking about movin' on up to a dee-luxe apartment in the sky.

“I am friends with Miley Cyrus. I am," Jason Luis Rivera told the cops. "She’s my wife. Me and Miley have been friends for five years."

Rivera didn't come out of the shrubbery willingly, either -- police had to use a Taser to flush him out, at which point they found him holding a pair of scissors. (Maybe he hasn't seen a recent photo of her. There's not much hair left to cut off.)

He was arrested for trespassing, but a pal of Miley's told Hollywood Life, “It’s too much for [her] to take even when she’s not home. Like, what is wrong with people? This is crazy."

"Miley is seriously like considering moving into a high rise ... It’s for her own safety," her friend continued. "Thank goodness she wasn’t home because this could have been very scary ... I hope they can lock this dirt bag up for a long time. Like, seriously, this was so scary."

Like, seriously, you guys. Seriously.