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Lindsay Lohan’s Character Witnesses Include the Worst ‘Spiritual Advisor’ in the History of Ever

Lindsay Lohan
Valerie Macon, Getty Images

Lindsay Lohan is pulling out all the ridiculous stops to avoid jail after her probation was revoked, including having her so-called “spiritual advisor” write a letter on her behalf to Commissioner Jane Godfrey (the acting judge).

Because nothing says “good character witness” like someone who trusts horoscopes and tea leaves.

We imagine the letter goes a little something like this:

Dear Ms. Gofrey,

Kindly excuse Ms. Lohan from jail as Jupiter is rising. I have foreseen in the cards that she will be much better behaved from now on. Promise.

Hugs and kisses,
Your Friendly Local Spiritual Advisor to the Stars

A source claims that LiLo is having several close family and friends provide letters to prove that jail time is just not right for her, and she thinks the spiritual advisor in particular will be helpful because he’s been guiding her since 2008 and knows how counseling can help. Especially since she’s lied to the police, gotten in bar fights, become a groupie and gone broke under his watch.

A hearing is scheduled for Jan. 25, where Lindsay will likely once again avoid jail. Because Hollywood.

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