Supposedly (and take this with a grain of whatever Lindsay Lohan prefers to snort these days), the occasional actress/current Wanted groupie is considering making a porno to the tune of $2.5 million dollars. Girl's got bills to pay!

The whole horrible idea - which we're crossing every appendage we have in hopes it doesn't happen – would be a masturbation flick a la Octomom in which the LiLo touches herself for no one's viewing pleasure.

Allow us to respond to this news in the most coherent way possible: dkghjsdkghnkrghoerhgjoeijhgalerjgaekrhgi!

“Her acting career is going south and it seems as if people are run­ning scared from working with her – some industry insiders think she’s uninsurable, unreliable and far too much trouble,” says a source who thinks that porn is La Lohan's only viable option at this point.

If she approves the deal, “The footage will be of­fered to pay-per-view subscribers – and LiLo’s friends say her back is against the wall. Every time her law­yers go to court it’s another $50,000. It’s unsustainable and she must know she’s running out of options fast.”

Especially considering she's been evicted from her home and is forced to spend her holidays attending private parties for eccentric billionaires.

“A move into porn isn’t ideal – especially if she wants to return to mainstream film acting. But right now, she’s not in a position to pick and choose.”

That's right source, she's not in any position. Yet. But if she takes the porn option she will certainly be in a lot of them. Including missionary. Zing!