Katie Holmes Selflessly Designs Clothes to Save You From Being Fat and Ugly

Now that she's free from brainwashing, er, the chains of Scientology and marriage to vertically-challenged wife-auditioner Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes is focusing on her work -- and that includes her fashion line, Holmes & Yang.

The actress and budding designer declared that she creates clothes with a singular mission: to make you look "skinny and hot." Because who doesn't want that over, say, equal pay in the workplace or having a woman in the Oval Office?

"We as women spend a lot of money on clothes, they better make us look skinny and hot," Holmes told InStyle during Fashion Week.

For the love of all that is body dysmorphic, Holmes' statement is decidedly un-PC. But we've gotta hand it to her, it's one helluva sales pitch: "Buy Katie-co-designed clothes and you, too, can enjoy rail thinness and innate hotness!"

And then she went and killed her credibility when attempting to demonstrate the line's universality and versatility by revealing that a teen customer bought a Holmes & Yang maxi dress for her prom, while a woman in her 60s purchased the same frock to wear on vacation.

So a H&Y creation can be worn as prom gown during a night of rite-of-passage debauchery and as a mumu by grandma? Ew. We'll pass, thanks.